Private Celebrations

Stop letting people love you in private, show their appreciation for you in an undercover kind of way, clap for you behind closed doors and only acknowledge you in front of certain crowds. Make people stand on how much they claim to treasure you and then you’ll be able to choose your companions, careers, circles, and connections a little better. ACTIONS are answers. You don’t need a self-help book to tell you that someone isn’t for you. Knowing your self worth alone will save you from the confusion. I use to believe everything was about what you deserved but it’s really about what you tolerate, what you normalize, what you settle for. I sat at jobs, accepting superficial praise and pats on the back during “offline conversations” but was never presented with opportunities to grow into the leader they knew I was capable of becoming. I made myself believe it wasn’t safe to be publicly happy in a relationship due to dating men who didn’t want people in our “business.” When in reality, they were just in everybody’s bed. I built friendships and bonds out of a false sense of belonging, only to find out they were quiet while I was being discussed in rooms I wasn’t present in. There are individuals who will only talk to me in my inbox in case the person they speak ill of me to is watching. True allegiance isn’t silence. It’s not silent support through the storms, the struggles nor the success. I’m no longer interested in love that isn’t LOUD. Put it on display or move around. Nothing healthy can come from anything that’s hidden. Find YOUR people and YOUR places so you can stop being someone’s best kept secret. You’ll never get far in life hanging around people who feel like they have to withhold certain things from you to keep you at a level that’s manageable for their fragile egos. Go where you’re valued.

A quiet ally is like an enemy in disguise. Pure motives are never masked. When you find yourself surrounded with people who care about your well being like you do theirs, that plant good seeds in your life as much as you water theirs, who don’t see your growth as a threat because they actually want to see you thrive, that aren’t afraid to be your advocate no matter what temporary benefits come with being your adversary, you’ll understand how essential it is to be in environments where you’re celebrated.


I want to be cherished properly and publicly. Romans 12:9 states, “love must be sincere.” I don’t see any mention of secrecy. Anyone who’s only comfortable giving you your flowers when no one else is looking has no intentions of seeing you enjoy them. Make sure you’re seen in the spaces you’re in.


J Michelle